so this morning I was like okayy i dont feel like im so tired im going to pass out in my cereal bowl like i felt yesterday. I was feeling pretty good considering the crappy way I was feeling the previous days. My mom asked if I was okay to go to school and my thought process went like this .. ” well I wouldn’t mind staying home and chillin the whole day, but I feel perfectly fine right now and the guilt would drive me insane… and i have a math test that I actually studied for today so i decided to suck it up and go to school. now for the past week i have been calling my mother in the middle of the day pleading for her to pick me up because i felt like shit. she couldn’t pick me up but i still feel bad for calling her every day haha. sooo anyways now i feel like im going to fucking pass out in class and i want to go home. wahhh should i bother my mom again?
so my friends have all basically contracted mono from one person before we knew she had it. lucky for me I had shared my friends bagel with her before I knew she had it and guess what … im almost positive i have mono. FUCK YES, NO GYM!
very poetic i know ahahha. But anywayss so yes I win for the most wimpiest person alive. I told myself that I would either talk to the girl who talked shit about me or talk to the girl who was told the shit. well i talked to neither. but i honestly don’t feel like myself anymore.. i used to be this happy optimistic person who didn’t care or freak out about such little petty things. idk how to get back to the way i was. its like all the good things in life got sucked out by some unseeable force. ugh being a teenager sucks ass. i wish there was someone to tell me what to do to get out of this dark place.
I don’t know what is. But I lost my way, I lost my style, I lost myself. I used to be this sparkly, energetic person. I know that’s kind of arrogant to say about yourself, but frankly I was. I loved life and laughing and I just enjoyed every bit of it. But lately, I don’t know, I haven’t been myself I guess. Time for me to step up the game and go for what I want, cause I deserve it! xoxo
well if you read my earlier post than you would know what I was planning on doing todayy. Well I decided to handle the situation differently haha. I’m gonna work more behind the scenes. So I think it’lll work out betterr. But I keep over analyzing stuff and it’s just driving me insane and making me very shy and depressed all the time. I wish i could just start over and be myself.